Right after I received the Lord, I became a member of a nondenominational pentecostal charismatic church for over 8 years. I learned many incorrect things from the pastor who eventually "backslid" into drugs, prostitutes, etc.

Then I (with my growing family) found another church and have been there ever since (since late 2001). But it's a "megachurch" and I'm finding faults with it and the doctrines being taught as well. Tithing is one, and it's the big one.

My husband and I have served in Children's Ministry as leaders for some time and while I am not frustrated with the cirriculum, I have found myself completely exasperated with the "machine" that is this church. The church staff just simply do not seem to be on the same page, so miscommunication abounds. And now, there is yet another major change going on - pastoral change - for Children's Ministry, and the director I used to serve under is now no longer working at the church as of this week.

I have been taking a break for this month just to see if I could come to terms with my feelings and get over it, and get enthused about serving again, and even just attending a service. But the more I ponder, the more I just want out.

I know there is no perfect "church" (organization) out there as they are full of imperfect people, but I would hope to find one that truly seeks God's face before His hand, and teaches as much truth directly from His word without twisting the meanings.

My worship experience has been marred by knowing too much about the church's and senior pastor's unbiblical doctrine, for example. By limiting my involvement in church, I can remain blissfully ignorant enough to leave room for doubt. By not being absolutely sure of how much of the Word is denied by the leadership, I leave just enough room for the possibility that they're not totally AWOL. This doubt enables me to worship corporately, because there's a slight chance the others are worshiping the same God of the Bible I worship (as opposed to a god made in their image).

To be more precise, I give a church a more-than-fair chance to demonstrate their commitment to God and His Word. I admittedly approach them with great caution and trepidation, refraining from diving in head first. Only after they demonstrate significant departure from the Word do I choose to avoid too much entanglement. I find this consistent with Biblical cautions about association with unbelievers. I will gladly associate in the form of ministry (see below), but will not subject myself or my family to unbiblical indoctrination, especially if there is no reasonable chance to disprove such heresies as they're presented.

Long ago, we pulled our ministries out of the church (because the church would drag them down to destruction). That is, we do not minister under the control of and at the whim of a corporate committee. We are thus able to continue ministering as the Lord leads regardless of the church we attend or all their heresies and [practiced] sins. Of course, our ministry is excluded from churches because we're not under their control. (I.E., churches will not tell others of our ministry, promote it, make others aware of it, use it, or in any other way accept that it's a work of the Lord.) I find it interesting that the modern, charismatic, nondenominational church is just as totalitarian as the Catholic Church was at the time of the Reformation.

One major flaw I've found in nondenominationalism is their "flexibility". In an attempt to be inclusive (what heresies this word implies!), such churches too often refuse to teach or defend God's Word, preferring instead to remain wishy-washy. For example, our pastor recently demonstrated contempt for the Word by refusing to defend Genesis 1 (and he went out of his way to do so). He clearly said it was acceptable to deny the Word by denying the six, literal, 24-hour days of creation. Not only did he accept such denial of the Word, but he also accepted denial of the science that attests to the Word. To deny Genesis 1 necessarily casts doubt on the rest of Scripture, including the Good News and salvation. If the very first chapter of the Holy Book cannot be trusted as it was written and intended, how can the rest of it be trusted?

Most denominations take a harder stance toward doctrine--to their credit--and refuse to allow what they see as heresies. Unfortunately, they get much of their doctrine wrong, and their establishment usually presents so much inertia that correcting them is nigh impossible. I had once hoped small, unaffiliated churches, led largely by one man, the senior pastor, would be more open to correction when they demonstrably violated the Word and/or God's will. Experience has shown me this hope was misplaced, as protecting their egos and power is far more important to these men than being right with God.

I received our weekly e-newsletter from our church today. When I saw our pastor's picture, I wanted to puke. Not from anything that he did directly, but from everything I've witnessed happen just within our Children's Ministry (CM) in the past 9 months. And remembering it all just makes me ill.

My CM director (friend) was fired, for what seems to be things that were not her fault. The CM pastor above her, who didn't do his job very well, was moved to another pastoral position. So in essence my friend became the scapegoat.

I know I'm biased and there may be other issues involved which I will never know. But I think I'm done with this church. Which is really a shame because it was (and seems to be on the outside) such a splendid church. Most of the teaching seemed to be Biblically accurate (except tithing), and the senior pastors seemed to be pretty transparent (which was refreshing). I was hoping I could just go and sit in service and not serve in CM anymore and maybe that would help but I don't know that it will. Maybe I will try one more time. I'm not ready to lose the friendships I have.

But frankly my heart is broken and I think I'm hurt too much to be able to stay. I hope I can find another church that isn't too small so I can just be anonymous for a while and try to get healing.

I agree with you so much and am too disgusted with the organize church. Where there is an organization, there will be politics and human beings. I have asked myself "why go to Church".

I have some answers for myself. I can contribute by teaching Sunday School for Adults even though sometimes there are only a few who want to come. Our class will get into deeper subjects and discuss some "heretical things". I love studying for my teaching as the Lord speaks and helps me to mature in the faith this way. So this is one reason I go -- where I can teach.

Another reason I go is when I can get with other Christians who are as devoted as I am --- it feels good to be with like kind. Yes, there are few of them, also.

I love to sing the old hymns and some of the new ones --- feeling the Lord and my feelings of being one of his children.

Another reason is when I don't go to church or prepare for Sunday School class, I do drop away from contact with Him - I hate to admit that, but I do lots of things to keep in contact with him as the world around us don't help us keep in contact.

The whole idea of having ministries outside the purview of a corporation--er, church--begs the question of accountability. Even Paul, a significant leader in the early church, was held accountable to the Jerusalem church for his actions and his doctrine. The problem comes in when the church that is the supposed authority has left The Way in pursuit of worldly goals or even flatly ungodly values. To whom are the Godly to be held accountable, then?

To be brutally frank, I am not aware of any church (corporation) today that would qualify as sufficiently Biblical to hold others accountable. To be even more brutal, I am not aware of even a single individual who would so qualify. (I include myself in that group unworthy to solely hold others accountable, as I have much growth remaining.)

Perhaps accountability is not so much to one person alone but to the church (not a corporation, but the Body of Christ) at large. In a mentoring or one-on-one relationship, there will certainly be a significant element of accountability at work, as it should be, but even this mentor should not be the sole agent of accountability for the mentored.

Seek out other believers and add them as co-mentors or some other form of authority to whom you will be accountable. Make especially sure you place all your cards on the table with all those to whom you are accountable. Each may evaluate your actions and doctrine differently, but if all involved are seeking the Lord--however imperfectly--He will be found among them.

As for me, I make no attempt to hide my beliefs or my actions. My beliefs are even on my website as well as regularly expressed through my blog. Comments are welcome; researched criticisms are encouraged. I am in no way cut off from the church (Body, not corp.), being actively involved in ministry. I must be diligent about always seeking the Lord (the toils of life remind me daily) and remain in His Word, both written and living. Anyone who knows me--there are many!--knows I am in no way out of touch with the church (again, Body not corp.) or unaccountable.

This model, as it were, is not found in the modern church (corp.) because it would undermine the authority of the incorporated church. (I find it ironic that each denomination and even each congregation has evolved into the very authoritarian, nearly soulless organization against which the Reformation rebelled.) A conscientious follower of Messiah must seek the Lord directly, rather than rely on others to hand Him to him. In his quest, he will enlist like-minded believers to hold him accountable in his journey, as he does likewise for others.

From http://www.christianquest.org/CQ-Files/Church... ...

Christian
Churches and Assemblies
In the
First Century

So those who welcomed his
message were baptized, and that day about three thousand persons were added.
They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and fellowship, to the
breaking of bread and the prayers.
Awe came upon everyone, because many wonders and
signs were being done by the apostles. All who believed were together and
had all things in common; they would sell their possessions and goods and
distribute the proceeds to all, as any had need. Day by day, as they spent
much time together in the temple, they broke bread at home and ate their
food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having the goodwill
of all the people. And day by day the Lord added to their number those who
were being saved. --Acts
2:41-47 NRSV

One of the difficulties
people face in emerging from a life-domineering religious organization is where
to find solace to fill the social and spiritual void left in its wake. Where
there had seemingly been clear guidance for every aspect of Christian living,
with answers to every question through the dictates of policy-making leadership,
self-proclaimed to be spirit-directed by Almighty God, there is now little that
remains in its place except bewilderment.

We entrusted our faith to an authoritarian organization,
served it to the utmost and based important life decisions on that faith, only
to eventually discover our devotion was to the illusions of imperfect humans
who were not the emissaries of God that we had believed. The table on which
we had perceived a bountiful banquet is bare. The flourishing oasis we envisioned
in a parched desert was a mirage. Some may feel lost in a spiritual wilderness
without refuge, wary to ever again trust any kind of organization for worship
lest they fall prey to another order of mind control and deception.

Yet how are we to seek and sustain
a meaningful relationship with our Creator apart from association with fellow
Christians? How do we apply the instruction of the apostle Paul who counselled,
"let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not
forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging
one another, . . ."? (Hebrews 10:24,25 - NAS)

Now we must ask, can there be Christian association
without submitting to domination by men? Can there be unity in Christ without
conformity to a central earthly authority? Can there be Christian freedom in
assembly? Or can people and families study the Bible in approved worship independent
of association with larger groups? To understand these and other questions about
Christian fellowship, we look to the Scriptures to discover how the followers
of Jesus worshipped together, and later how they assembled as a church after
his death and resurrection in the first century CE.
In order to understand the meaning of church in the
early Christian community, we must examine a Greek word ekklesia from
which the word "church" is translated.

The
"church" (ekklesia)
in the first century
A literal translation of the Greek word ekklesia
means, in the general sense, "assembly" or "gathering. " From the fifth century
BC it was applied to any group of Greek citizens who came together in meeting
for a purpose. In the Greek translation of the "Old Testament" (Septuagint),
the word ekklesia denoted an assembly of Israelites, and the term was
also sometimes interchanged with the word for "synagogue."

The word church (ekklesia) appears in only two
verses in the Gospels, both in the book of Matthew and spoken by Jesus. In the
first occurrence, Jesus tells Peter: "upon this rock I build my church." (Matt.
16:18) Here Jesus applies "church" in a universal sense as meaning the whole
spiritual assembly of all Christians, the "rock" being his spiritual
"body" (Col.1:18) of which he, the Christ, would be the head. (Eph.5:23) In
this application there is an implied relationship to the universal church of
his future Kingdom. In his second reference to "church," Jesus instructs a believer
to appeal to the "church" when a member, a wrong-doer, will not heed private
admonition. (Matt. 18:17) In this definition, the term applies more generally
to a local "congregation." In deed some translators render ekklesia here
as "congregation" (for example, NEB) or "community" (JB). It is this second
definition that we are concerned with for consideration of Christians assembling
together for worship in our time.
Other than Jesus' two references to "church" in Matthew,
it does not appear to be the term generally used by his disciples or the Jews
to describe their gatherings prior to the writing of Paul in the Epistles. It
was some years later, in his letters to Gentile congregations, that the apostle
Paul regularly employed the word "church" in reference to groups of Christians
in their various communities.[1]
In the Bible, the word "church" is first seen in his greeting to the Christians
in Thessalonica. (1 Thess. 1:1) Thereafter, "church" is recorded some sixty
times in the writings about his ministry to the Gentile Christians. That he
viewed the "churches" as independent congregations is clear from the fact that
he uses the plural word (ekklesias) when writing a letter to several
groups, for example in his letter to "the churches of God in Christ Jesus that
are in Judea" (1 Thess.2:14) and in his letter to "all the churches of the saints"
(1 Cor. 14:33). Throughout the record of Paul's ministry, it is clearly evident
that the early communities of Christians did share in independent group fellowships
called "churches." The only way "church" was applied collectively to multiple
congregations was reference to an assembly of more than one congregation, or
when it was applied in the universal sense of all Christians in union with Christ.
"Church" was never used in reference to Christianity as a religious denomination.
In Harper's Bible Dictionary, under the definition of "church" it is
stated this way:

"In the NT "church" always denotes
a group of people, either all the Christians in a city (Acts 14:23, 1 Cor.1:2;
2 Cor.1:1) or those gathered for worship in a particular house (Rom. 16:5;
1 Cor.16:19) or all Christians in all the churches, the whole church (Matt.
16:18; Eph. 1:22). It never signifies a building or a "denomination."
[Bold not in original.]

Where
did first-century Christians meet?
There are no specific commands in the Bible as to where
or how often Christians should meet. However we can learn much by what the Scriptures
reveal in the various references to church meetings. Notably there is no mention
of any church-owned property or permanent meeting place. Meetings were held
in various homes and in public places, including the Temple (Acts 2:46; 5:12,
42), or out in the open as on the Mount of Olives (Acts 1:6) or on the seashore
(Acts 21:5), or in "an upper room" (Acts 1:13-14; 2:1-2; 20:1). Specific homes
mentioned are Cornelius's house (Acts 10:27), Simon's (Acts 10:6), Mary's (Acts
12:5, 12), Lydia's (Acts 16:40), Jason's (Acts 17:5), Justus' (Acts 18:7), Philip's
(Acts 21:7), as well as the apostle Paul's abode (Acts 28:23-30).

". . . while I did not hold
back from telling you any of the things that were profitable nor from teaching
you publicly and from house to house.* --Acts 20:20 New
World Translation Rev. 1971 edition. [Footnote: *Or, "and in the
private houses."--pg. 1162]

In the Epistles, the only buildings specifically
mentioned as used for church meetings are private houses. These include Priscilla
and Aquila's house (Rom. 16:5; 1 Cor. 16:19); Nympha's house (Col. 4:15) and
Philemon's house (Philem. 2). It is generally supposed the groups were relatively
small, numbering anywhere from the immediate members of one household up to
perhaps approximately 40 in more affluent homes.
Due to persecution in the first century, Christians
met wherever they could. Christianity was not recognized as an exclusive religion
by the Roman government before the time of Constantine.

"Until the second century Christians
were not permitted to erect churches, but were compelled to worship in private
homes, in the open fields, or, to escape persecution, in the Catacombs (q.v.)
and other concealed places."[2]

Church historian, Quintus Tertullian, early in the third
century writes: "Lastly, if you cannot assemble by day,
you have the night . . . . Be content with a church of threes. It is better
that you sometimes should not see your crowds, . . . ."[3]
And Jesus did say: "For where two or three are gathered
in my name, I am there among them." (Matt. 18:20 NRSV)[4]

How
did they fellowship?
The early Christians served as a support group for one
another. To embrace the Gospel meant to embrace one another in brotherhood and
fellowship as members of the dwelling of God. As Paul said:

"So then you are no longer strangers
and aliens, but you are citizens with the saints and also members of the household
of God, built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ
Jesus himself as the cornerstone. In him the whole structure is joined together
and grows into a holy temple in the Lord; in whom you also are built together
spiritually into a dwelling place for God." -Eph.2:19-22 NRSV

They shared their possessions (Acts 2:44-47) and made
provision for those less fortunate, widows and orphans (Acts 6:1-7). They were
known for their love and loyalty to one another as noted by one early historian:

"They abstain from all impurity in the hope of the
recompense that is to come in another world. As for their servants or handmaids
or children, they persuade them to become Christians by the love they have
for them; and when they become so, they call them without distinction, brothers.
They do not worship strange gods; and they walk in all humility and kindness,
and falsehood is not found among them; and they love one another. When they
see the stranger they bring him to their homes and rejoice over him as over
a true brother; for they do not call those who are after the flesh, but those
who are in the Spirit and in God.
"And there is among them a man that is poor and needy
and if they have not an abundance of necessities, they fast two or three days,
that they may supply the needy with the necessary food. "They observe scrupulously
the commandment of their Messiah; they live honestly and soberly as the Lord
their God commanded them. Every morning and all hours on account of the goodness
of God toward them, they render praise and laud Him over their food and their
drink; they render Him thanks.

"And if any righteous person of their number passes
away from this world, they rejoice and give thanks to God and they follow
his body as though he were moving from one place to another. And when a child
is born to them, they praise God, and if again it chances to die in its infancy,
they praise God mightily, as for one who has passed through the world without
sins.
"Such is the law of the Christians and such is their
conduct."[5]

Meals were central to the life of the early church. Luke
gives a glimpse of the early church days in telling us: "They
broke bread in their homes ["house to house" in the KJV]
and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the
favor of all the people." (Acts 2:46,47 NIV).
Meals made fellowships a joyous occasion which became a way of demonstrating
and celebrating their new kinship in Jesus' family. Meals specifically associated
with fellowship and worship have been called love [agape] meals, which
may also have relevance to partaking of the emblems of Christ. And they sang
songs, as it says: "Let the word of Christ dwell in you
richly; teach and admonish one another in all wisdom; and with gratitude in
your hearts sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God. And whatever you
do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks
to God the Father through him." (Col.3:16,17)

Summary
"Church," then, in its most fundamental definition means
people, specifically the people of God. The Christian church was born with the
first converts from the multitude gathered for the day of Penticost after Jesus'
ascension. (Acts 2:37-42) They were commissioned to then spread the gospel ("good
news") message of hope in God's kingdom through Christ. (Matt. 28:19-20; 2 Tim.4:1-5)
The church in its universal sense means all Christians in the body of Christ
and alludes to that promised Kingdom.

"But you are a chosen people,
a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may
declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful
light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once
you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy." -1 Pet.2:2-10

The kingdom in one sense is a present reality, a life-support
system for those who believe and accept Jesus Christ and his gospel. Christians
become part of the kingdom of God on earth. However, they experience the kingdom
in only a partial sense. The fullness of the kingdom is our destination and
our goal. Yet a foretaste of the kingdom is present now in the Body of Christ.
It is this present reality that enables and empowers us to be Christian pilgrims
(2 Pet. 1:3-4)
The church is not a corporate body. It is not a building
or a structure. The church is not a multi-national institutional conglomerate.
The church is people. That is not to say that people of God should not organize
for fellowship. The Scriptures give a basic structure and coherency to the people
of God. But the church should never forget that it is comprised of people in
union with the Lord, Jesus Christ. It is unfortunate that the history of Christianity
demonstrates the people of God have often been overlooked, forgotten and even
abused by the corporate institution of the church.

Home
Churches in our twenty-first century
As we enter the twenty-first century, there is a rising
movement among worshippers to restore the home church concept of those first-century
Christians. Many people of faith are discovering it to be an appealing alternative
to joining a corporate denominational religious organization. In the spirit
of identifying with the citizenship of the universal Christian church, and applying
the instruction to gather together with one another in love, Christian Quest
is pleased to promote this Biblical concept of home churches and family groups
among Christians. Our mission of appeal gives particular attention to the special
interests and doctrinal experience of former Jehovah's Witnesses. Our Web site
offers a suggested outline for regular weekly Bible study for those who would
like to follow a program in shared fellowship with others. For more information
write to:

Christian Quest - USA
PO Box 39
Eagle ID
83616 USA     E-mail: Info [at] christianquest [dot] org

Camino Christiano - Spain
Website: http://usuarios.maptel.es/camino
E-mail: galaad [at] maptel [dot] es
Christian Quest - Australia
Dave and Maureen Lavis
E-mail: davelavis [at] hotmail [dot] com

Christian Quest - Mexico
James Penton
lobogris [at] LAGUNA [dot] COM [dot] MX

[3] 'De Fuga In persecutions' as translated by Rev. S. Thelwall in
'The Ante-Nicene Fathers,' Vol. IV, page 125.
[4] Early historians such as Justin, Pliny, and Tertullian all wrote descriptions
of Christian meetings and did not mention any type of church building.
[5] The Apology of Aristides, Syriac text and translation. Cited in
Encyclopedia Britannica, Vol. 1 (Chicago Encyclopedia Britannica, Inc.),
page 346. 7